brave it.

Happy Wednesday :) I got the request from one of my sweet readers this weekend for a few tips on how to handle the start of a long distance relationship. It has been a few moons since {cv} and I first braved that uncharted territory, but it doesn't mean I don't acutely remember those long {and hard!} first months apart. Though I cannot profess to be an expert, this post does contain a few of our learnings about how to start off your distance on the right foot...


Below, you'll find what can best be described as a "beginner's guide" to long distance. It is {by no means} complete, nor is it foolproof, but it does contain a few of the most important tidbits {cv} and I discovered during our first year of long distance...


A few words of explanation: no relationship--be it long distance or across town--can survive without honesty and trust. I truly believe that a relationship with a strong foundation built on these two tenets can weather most any storm. Having friends {and, if you're lucky, family} in the city where you are helps to make the lonely nights easier. You simply need a few close pals outside of your relationship who can distract you and keep you sane. Along the same vein, mapping out your future visits will help you maintain some semblance of normalcy. Without a plan, the potential for getting your hopes dashed {when a visit doesn't work} is much higher. A real plan helps so, so much.

Being patient and understanding encompasses putting up with daily distractions without seeing them as a stumbling block for your future. Not every phone call or text will be exactly what you want to hear--and understanding that is half the battle. By embracing and accepting the distance, you come to terms with the fact your current situation isn't ideal. The end goal {being in the same place!} is worth putting up with the day-to-day disadvantages of long distance.

Last but not least, don't look too far into the future. I remember looking down the barrel of three years apart and it seemed like an insurmountable length of time. Not so! By mapping out visits and ensuring you make time for the two of you, you will be able to break down the time into more manageable increments--and survive those three years {or however long} with flying colors!

Thanks for bearing with this wordy post--I hope it helps those of you new to the long distance game {and even those of you who might have been in the thick of it for awhile!} :) I'll have another blogger's story for you next week, but I thought this would make for a nice change of pace. See you all tomorrow!

{photo = here}

17 comments:

  1. patience is the key! and lots and lots of communicating:)
    great post a xxx

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  2. I agree, trust is extremely important in any relationship. I would add Skype to the list :)

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  3. You hit all the things right on the head! I think the biggest thing I would add is COMMUNICATION! If I hadn't been good about communicating, nor had M, I don't know if we would have survived the year apart.

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  4. {AV} I was going to email you today to ask you to do a post on surviving long distance -- i've just arrived home and it is painful to think of the next 3 months apart! this is just what i needed to hear, so thank you :) xx

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  5. I have a request, too! Now that my long distance days are coming to an end VERY soon (YAYYYYYYYYYY!!!), I'm a little worried about the adjustment, especially since we're going from long distance to living together! Any words of advice?

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  6. i love your positive outlook on long distance relationships :) even tho my hubby and i are not far apart- your tips always remind me to be thankful for what we have an to always cherish each other. hope you are having a good week girly- XO!

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  7. this is so sweet! :) finding friends in your city is key! and staying distracted even if all you want to do is curl up with a photo of your love and wallow! (never the answer.)

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  8. I love this! My boyfriend and I have been semi-long distance for the past four years, and he's about to move to Oklahoma for six months for army training. I'll definitely be keeping these tips in mind!

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  9. These are good! Rob and I are about to do long distance again for about a year! We used to be two hours apart and now live together, so next year being FOUR AND A HALF hours away from each other is probably going to take some getting used to.

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  10. Skype!!
    Thank you for this! I will be rereading this when I find myself struggling :)

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  11. These are really smart tips! I think that maintaining a healthy + balanced life aside from your relationship is crucial, whether you're long distance or not. I really love this post and would love to see more about your life + relationship experience, you have so much to share! xoxo, eliza

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  12. Thank you thank you thank you!!!!! This totally made my day. :) The second paragraph, especially (it was all great), was exactly what I needed to hear today. Thanks again...this really helps me out. I am so encouraged by your blog. Today's post felt like my own personal hug or something!! :)

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  13. Those are really great tips, av! I wouldn't really know, but definitely agree that trust is important in any relationship.

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  14. Great advice! I think definitely the part about looking ahead is really important. You both have to have an end point to the distance... well I guess it's not a necessity but I know it definitely helped me keep my sanity... :)

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  15. i get alot of greif for having a long distance relationship , people are always like omg how could you do that,that must be terrible but what i always say is when you forced to talk instead of going out and doing things you get to know that person on such a deeper level .
    as for a tip of advice i would say make sure you have a phone or webcam date night, life can get busy and setting aside time to spend with each other is important

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  16. You seem so natural and optimistic about the long distance. Your love shows through your writing...this was a sweet post, and I'm definitely going to keep this in mind if the time ever comes when my husband and I have to be in different places.

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  17. Agree with all that you listed!

    M x

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Many thanks for visiting {long distance loving}! I'd love to hear what you think :) xoxo {av}