the long distance weekend.

Weekends during our long distance years were the best: we spent every waking second with one another, be it enjoying a tasty brunch or taking a walk-through the farmer's market. Since our distance days are behind us, we are guilty of spending segments of our weekend alone. Guilty is a lose term, of course. We fall asleep next to one another every night, so time apart on the weekends is a function of getting things done. In the craziness of married life, {cv} and I rarely get to spend a weekend like we did during those years.

This weekend, we had what I'll call a "long distance weekend"...and I loved every minute of it. We had a real date night on Friday, spending the night chatting away at our new favorite restaurant. On Saturday afternoon, {cv} and I caught a matinee of a Broadway show. Later that night, we saw one of our favorite artists perform. It was a packed but perfect day. Sunday consisted of a walk-through on our lot {more to come on that this week!} and a Target run. We capped off the weekend with a flatbread pizza at a new neighborhood joint. I know it sounds like we had a "normal" weekend, but honestly, it took me back to those weekends in which we relished every moment of togetherness. 

Every so often, I appreciate the reminders of what we endured. It gives light to how good we have it today. When I started this blog in 2010, we were still fresh off of our long distance years. If this post is any indication, those years are still very much a part of our story. I may not blog about long distance as often these days, but it will never be far from my memory, especially after weekends like this one. If you're still trudging through long distance, keep cherishing your weekends. As simple as it sounds, it will make your future weekends together that much more special. Hang onto that :) xoxo {av}

four years.

Alison and Chris from Kate Headley on Vimeo.

Four years ago, I married my best friend. We were lucky enough to have Kate Headley capture it on film. {True story: Kate was the only photographer I approached to shoot our wedding. I knew she had to be the one who captured our day from the moment I first saw her photos.} 

I share this video every year, but I do so because it truly captures the happiness of the day in a way that words cannot. I'm so lucky to share a life with {cv}--one we always dreamed of during our long distance days. In so many ways, our wedding allowed us to finally close the door on those years and open up a life of togetherness. Sorry for the repeat share, but in the very least, I hope it brightens your Thursday like it did mine! xoxo {av}

home alone.

After surprising my mom on Wednesday, I have been enjoying a quiet few days at home in Indiana. The peace and quiet has been so refreshing, literally. Thanks to my Jawbone, I confirmed something I've always known: my childhood bedroom is the best for deep sleep. Though these vacation days may not be spent in an exotic locale, I am in one of my happiest places with a few of my favorite people--my parents.

Since {cv} couldn't get away from work during the week, I made the trip home by myself. {cv} and I revert to our long distance ways so quickly when we are apart. I find it incredibly reassuring to know we haven't "lost" those skills. Communicating with your significant other long distance is definitely an acquired skill. Our days apart are like glances through the window of the life we left behind.

Thanks to mother nature and the impending snow, {cv} is staying back east to avoid the storm coming this weekend. It is so strange to be home without him, even though we met out of the context of my hometown. Since we married, I can count my solo trips home on one hand. I feel like I immediately revert to my 18 year-old self when I walk in my house, especially as an only child. The only difference is that I now have a self-imposed curfew, my own bank account, and my own "home" in Rhode Island {as picture above--because I couldn't think of a better graphic for this post!}.

My plan is to soak up another day in the peace and quiet before my return to the hustle and bustle of my daily life. I can't wait to get home to {cv}, but these days apart help me appreciate waking up to him every day. I'll spend the night alone in my childhood bedroom and say a grateful prayer for finding the man I only dreamed of for years in that same room. For those who have survived long distance, where do you find your most acute reminders of how far you've come? xoxo {av}

life after long distance.

While chatting with a sweet friend last Friday, she told me she clicked through my long distance love stories on a regular basis. I spent the rest of the weekend thinking through how I could better keep this important facet of my blog alive. If Google Analytics tells me anything, it's this: people need more faith in long distance.

{cv} and I will celebrate five years in the same place this June. For the last 55 months, we have had the privilege of waking up next to one another. I call it a privilege because I have little reminders of our long distance days when {cv} travels for work. I hate how cold the left side of the bed is on those nights and I sleep terribly. I always anxiously await when his call before he goes into meetings...just like the long distance days of old. These days apart every so often serve as reminders about what we endured, but in the strangest way, they also give me peace in knowing how strong we are together.

While the acute pain of long distance has finally faded, much of what we learned during our three years apart is still alive in us today. I can tell when he is busy at work by simply hearing the tone of his voice. He can tell if I've had a long day by the tone of my voice when he walks in our front door. Those years we spent on the phone {before the real advent of Skype} taught us to pay attention. I know they always say that hindsight is 20/20, but it is truly only in retrospect that I've learned to love the lessons from our long distance years.

Long distance wasn't all peaches, but we survived. Wherever you are on the long distance spectrum, I hope this post encourages you to keep the faith. In a certain number of years, you'll look back and realize the heartache of your time apart was worth every. single. tear. I know I do. With all of this in mind, I know people desperately need that encouragement. For those of you in need of that hope for long distance, I promise more posts on this topic. For those of you not in a long distance relationship, I hope you'll indulge me every once in a while to share the love to those who need it.

For those who have survived long distance, how do those years apart live on in your daily life? xoxo {av}

P.S. Could your story help others in long distance relationships? Share a bit more about it with me--and you might be on {long distance loving} one day. {If you've shared your story recently, thank you. I'm wading through the submissions now!}

love is: changing together.

After a long hiatus, I'm back with a new spin on my long distance series. This one features Megan {from Semi-Charmed Kind of Life} and Jonathan, a pair of high school sweethearts who weathered their college years apart. They are now reunited in the same city and engaged! Their story is definitely worth the read...

What one piece of advice would you give yourself at the start of your long distance days? 

Talk on the phone more. I’m not a big phone-talker, so we usually only talked on the phone right before we went to bed to say good night. We texted and emailed throughout the day, but I wish I would have set aside more time to have a genuine conversation on the phone and not just “love you, good night.”

How did your communication change over the years?

The frequency of our communication depended greatly on our school schedules. Between our classes, part-time jobs, our extracurriculars {football for him, sorority for me}, there were times we didn't actually talk on the phone for a week or more. As we got older, we discussed what means of communication worked better for us. We found times that worked for both of us, even if I had to write "Skype with Jonathan" in my planner. Our communication definitely became more of a priority as we matured and grew in our long-distance relationship.

Because you attended different schools, what helped you survive the "3/5/7-wheel" situations?

Luckily, I have pretty cool friends, so they dated pretty cool guys. They would always be sure to include me in conversations and activities when I was the odd woman out. It also helped that my friends all loved Jonathan and wanted to introduce him to their boyfriends when he visited. There was always plenty to talk about when Jonathan was in town!

Anything else you'd like to add? 

Many people have said that high school sweethearts can’t work because people change. They say that no one is the same person they were in high school. Of course, Jonathan and I have changed since we began dating at 14, but we’ve changed together--and that’s what makes it work.
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A big thank you to Megan for sharing her story with all of us! I love the concept of changing and growing together. After eight years with {cv}, I can definitely echo this sentiment :) If you would like to share your story, you can submit yours by clicking here and it just might end up here on {long distance loving}. I'll keep sharing stories in the coming months :) See you all tomorrow for some football--I mean, Friday's Fancies! xoxo {av}

love don't know what distance is.

I'm the first to admit I have a rather eclectic running playlist. From rap to country, my running tunes run the gamut. Even though I've heard the song a number of times, one particular line from Hunter Hayes' "I Want Crazy" caught me off guard on my run yesterday: love don't know what distance is. Even though {cv} and I have been in the same place for a few years now, the line hit close to home.

When I started this blog in November 2010, {cv} and I were newly married. Long distance was still fresh on my mind. The name {long distance loving} came to me that random Wednesday night and I went with it. As time passes and the hardships of our long distance years fade, I've thought more than once about changing my blog name. The bottom line is that I'm not ready yet. For as often as I get requests to bring back my distance makes the hear grow fonder series, I realize the need is still there. Long distance may be over for me, but it may be just beginning for you.

Though I won't have long distance features every week, I want to give hope to those of you who are wading in the long distance waters. I will be bring back features on couples who are currently long distance {or survived it themselves}. If you'd like to be considered, click here to submit your information. I'll be calling this the "Love Is" series--as an ode to the song from Hunter Hayes which reminded me to go back to my roots ;)

If long distance doesn't apply to your love life, never fear. The content you've come to expect from {long distance loving} isn't going anywhere.  I just want to give some love to the distance folks--because goodness knows I needed it when we were long distance. Have a great start to your week! xoxo {av}

moving on up.

After four years and two days, yesterday marked the last day in our first place. This apartment represented the end to our long distance years. On our final trip out the door--with his road bike and the poster from our Parisian honeymoon--{cv} and I looked at each other and smiled. We knew this place was just our start. We have so much more ahead of us...

This place may be empty, but our new place is filled to the brim with boxes. My bff {who just got married!} lands in Rhode Island today to help me make sense of it all. Fun trips to the Container Store and Bed Bath & Beyond await us, along with a few festive fireworks. I cannot wait!

I don't have an office set up just yet, but I hope to be up and running soon. Since this will be a quiet week because of the 4th, it may be a bit of quiet week on {long distance loving} too. Don't worry though--Friday's Fancies will still be up on Friday! If you need me, email or twitter work best :) 

Follow along on Instagram, if you don't already, for little updates from me throughout the week. 

Thank you again for putting up with me as we make this transition! xoxo {av}

P.S. Any tips on how to ease Gus + Mr. Pinky's transition? They have never been scaredy cats, but they have been camping out underneath the bed for the last two days. We think the passing cars and street noise may be the issue, but it's a part of our new reality. We have had the pheromone plug-ins going for a week without much success. I just want our old cuddly kitties back! 

be in love.

Hello again! I know you've seen the quote below a million times before, but for some reason, I couldn't get it out of my head this weekend. Be in love with your life. Every minute of it. Living out this quote isn't always an easy task, but after years of trying, I recently decided to be in love with my life as it is today.

When {cv} and I were long distance, I spent the time between visits living toward the next one. The inevitable heartache with our good-byes physically hurt. Once we were finally in the same place in Rhode Island, I began thinking ahead to the day we would finally leave the Ocean State. When it became clear that Providence wasn't a short stop on our journey, it hit me that I couldn't keep living life from event to event or place to place. I needed to be grateful for the life I was living at that moment because it most certainly a gift.

The reality is that we're only blessed with so much time on this earth, so wishing it away is wasting time. {Crazy thought, right?} When I finally chose to be in love with what I had, everything finally felt like enough. It may seem cheesy, but it is the absolute truth. I get excited for life's curve balls--because as {cv} and I have discovered--those crazy turns often bring the best results.

How are you seeking peace with the life you're living today? xoxo {av}

STAY IN TOUCH: BLOGLOVIN + INSTAGRAM + TWITTER + PINTEREST + FACEBOOK

grateful.

This morning at 4:45am, I woke up to take {cv} to the airport. As we rounded our way into the terminal, I just looked at him and smiled. This scene was all too familiar. During our long distance years, those early morning flights were all too common. Truth be told, I was in college--and AirTran knew how to reel in a kid on a budget with $39 flights at 5:00am.

Though I would have never imagined it then, I could not be more grateful for those gut-wrenching early morning departures years ago. {cv} travels on a regular clip for work and I've come to relish in the peace and quiet of a night alone. Would I rather him be here? Absolutely. Is it absolutely amazing to watch The Bachelor, Girls, and Pretty Little Liars on DVR without blinking an eye? You betcha. 

As the years pass, I find myself increasingly grateful for the years we spent apart. My 24-year-old self would never believe my 27-year-old self was saying such a thing, but it's the truth. When {cv} leaves for a business trip or I go spend a weekend with my girlfriends, we are able to keep on living. Our worlds don't stop because we're not in the same place. The years we spent long distance taught us we couldn't live that way. Have you found yourself surprisingly grateful for something you used to resent? xoxo {av}

STAY IN TOUCH: INSTAGRAM + TWITTER + PINTEREST + FACEBOOK

delightfully darling.

Happy Wednesday, friends! I have another installment in the {distance makes the heart grow fonder} series for you today :) Teresa {from delightfully darling} and her beau, J, didn't get much time together before distance drew them apart. They are now navigating  their days apart with a special goal in mind...

Name: Teresa  |  Significant Other's Name: J

When did you start dating? We started dating in late July 2010 and on September 26 of that year, we made it official. He asked me to be his "girlfriend" with flowers and a Starbuck's travel cup. (The way to my heart is definitely through coffee!)

How do you fill your days when you’re apart?  I blog! I have only a handful of friends in my everyday life and they aren’t into fashion as much as I am. I had been a blogger before J and I started dating—the distance just encouraged me to invest more time into my blog. With J working in another state, I focused more on building a "pretty" blog and finding like-minded bloggers with which I could connect.

What do you find most difficult about being long distance? It can be pretty lonely. The worst is when there is an event that I would like to take him to or a concert that we could enjoy and there just isn't any way for us to go together. Its frustrating in that sense.

How has long distance changed your relationship? Its strange because its all we really know. We did have a short period where we got to live together but it was over before we were really able to get settled in. I feel like we have been together for nearly 2 years, yet we are really just starting if that makes sense. The distance seems to slow things down a lot.

How do you stay focused on the future—and not get stuck in the day-to-day? Like most everyone, we have our ups and downs. There have been times where I doubt the whole long distance thing, but then I think of life without him, I know why we do it. I am beyond happy that we at least have each other in this way—even if it is mostly confined to texts, phone calls, and skype. We talk about a time where we will be finished with our obligations and can be together "for real." It is a great goal to work toward because no matter the distance, the heart wants what it wants... and my heart wants him!

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Do you want to share your long distance story? Click here to submit yours!

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I love the perspective that Teresa and J maintain. It's absolutely true that the highs and lows of every day life can get in the way, but with the right mindset, they can be conquered. In reality, it's a great mantra for each and every one of us :) Have a fantastic Wednesday--and keep your eyes on the prize...whatever yours may be.

P.S. I'm guest posting over at Pearls and Pugs today--be sure to stop by!

rearview mirror.

This {distance makes the heart grow fonder} post is an extra special one: After only two weeks together during a study abroad program, Dom and Robin {from Sunshine State of Mind} embarked on a long distance journey which finally ends tomorrow. Robin will be moving to Florida to join Dom and start their new life together and putting the distance in the rearview mirror :)

Name: Robin -  Significant Other's Name: Dom

When did you start dating? Dom and I began dating on June 11, 2010. We were in the same study abroad program in Sydney, Australia. Toward the end of our semester, a group of people were heading to Fiji for a week before finals started. Even though Dom and I didn't know each other well, we both went on the trip, which would be an adventure of a lifetime.  We have been together ever since!

When did your long distance begin? We started our long distance days on June 28, 2010--just two weeks after our first "date". Our program in Australia ended and we had to go home to our separate cities. Luckily, we are both from New York, so the distance was only a few hours. It was still scary to start being apart when our relationship was brand new.  We weren't even official yet! I was nervous what we had might not withstand the distance, but I'm so glad I was wrong.

How did you manage to fill your days apart? When I was still in school, my days were filled to the brim with classes, my job, my internship, and all of my sorority events. My best friend and I scored a townhouse and spent lots of time decorating it to make it a home. Dom and I joked that even if we were at the same school we would never see each other since we were both so busy! Keeping busy definitely made it much easier. After graduation, I worked full time and took classes in the evening, so I really didn't have time to dwell on missing him!

What did you find most difficult about being long distance? Without a doubt, it was coming home after a long hard day and not having Dom there. I'm not the type that needs to be attached to my boyfriend 24/7, but sometimes you just need a hug! It would make me sad to see friends doing normal things, like grocery shop or go out to lunch with their boyfriends, while I had to wait three weeks in between visits and then try to cram it all in during our visits. Luckily, my best friend and roommate was also in a long distance relationship, so I had someone who understood acutely what we endured.  On the upside, there was always ice cream in the freezer for the rough nights!

How have your long distance years changed your relationship? I attribute our amazing communication skills to the long distance. Talking is all we have, so we learned early on to be upfront and honest with how we are feeling. You certainly can't read someone's body language over the phone! We are also very mindful of how we disagree. There is no silent treatment because it is complete torture when you are apart. If something is bothering us, we talk about it before it grows into something more. We have also developed a deep sense of trust. {In my opinion, there is no way to survive being long distance without it!} We choose to trust each other 100% and, as a result, we don't get into petty little fights about small details. We learned to genuinely appreciate and love each other as individuals, which made the long distance years more worth it.
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I can't even imagine how excited Robin is today! Be sure to send your love her way :) If you'd like to see your own long distance story featured here, click here to submit it!