the wait is over.

In my {distance makes the heart grow fonder} series, many couples relish in the happy light of their new lives together once their long distance is behind them. As one of my sweet readers noted, the transition to togetherness isn't a topic which receives much discussion.

{via}

Our transition wasn't necessarily hard--but it wasn't without incident either. The moving process was pure hell. Getting his life in North Carolina into a northbound UHaul took twice as long as expected, which meant we spent an all-nighter {in the rain} driving up to DC to unite his things with mine. I'll spare you all the goofy details, but suffice it to say, our things made it into our "pod" within minutes of the driver coming to pick it up. It was NOT fun, but we survived.

For one action-packed and amazing week, we lived out of suitcases, slept on an air mattresses, and maximized those last few days in the District. It was rather blissful--that is, until we had to make the drive north to be reunited with our pod in Rhode Island. Nine days after the whole process started, we finally had dishes in our cabinets and sheets on our bed. The next few days are a bit of a blur, but I remember those first few months vividly.

{via}

I'd like to think they were easy, but the reality was that they weren't. We both were used to our freedom: being able to watch the shows we wanted {when we wanted}, sleep diagonally across the bed, and meet up with friends for dinner. Our reality quickly changed when we moved to a city where we knew no one, living in a loft apartment with no doors {except on the bathrooms!}. 

It took some time, but we figured it out--just as everyone does. I learned to accept that {cv} takes his shoes off immediately upon stepping into our living room--and never moves them from there. He came to understand my weird squeeze method for the toothpaste tube. We love each other all the same, weird habits and all. 

Living with anyone isn't easy, but when it's someone with whom you intend to spend the rest of your life, the pressures are endless. My advice? Take it one day at a time. It won't always be peachy, but it will be worth it. Whether you were long distance before or lived across town, it's a new journey which is exciting and scary all at the same time. You're best off to embrace it :)


P.S. Boston Bloggers - tickets to the June Meet + Greet are now available :)

24 comments:

  1. omg I have so many that I can't even think of. when AJ & I moved in I wanted to start a blog about the perils of living with a boy - humorous of course. but all of the things you had no idea would be issues, the things that would randomly make you cry, etc. I think the big thing is to be understanding because getting used to living with something is definitely different than just being together.

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  2. Definitely the constant plopping of clothes on the bed in the spare room when there's a hamper right in our bedroom! Or him placing his wet towel from the shower on my side of the bed and it staying there until we go to bed. I have broken him of that habit though! :)

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  3. As with every other aspect of a relationship, communication is key. When the future hubs and I moved in together last July (after he'd been in Florida and I'd been in school in Virginia), we knew we'd immediately have to set some ground rules - basically, who took care of what chores, how to deal with those times we needed our own space for a little while, and so forth. I think taking time for his/her own space was key at first - it's hard to have someone else rattling around in your life when you're used to having all your space to yourself!

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  4. When Craig and I first moved in together, it was just so...weird? I mean, we were both used to our own routines, and since I had just graduated from college I still felt a little...wild, I guess you could say. I wanted to stay up, go out, do fun things! And he had kind of moved past that already being in the working world. It always takes adjustment moving in with someone, especially if you love them to the moon and back. You don't want things to be weird! But inevitably, some things will be weird. Really weird. Boys are weird.

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  5. Thank you for posting about what it's REALLY like when you move in together after LDR! I don't think people share their stories about this part of the relationship as much as they should. It wasn't a cake walk for Ryan and I, and at the time I felt bad, like we were the only ones that didn't fall into place blissfully. Thank goodness I now know we weren't the only ones who had moving-in-together pains (much like growing pains)! Thanks again for posting this :)

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  6. This was a great post! Tyler and I don't live together yet, we still have our separate places, but I spent almost 85% of my time there with him. It's hard juggling to a new place. I always want to be with him, but I also want to make friends and hang out with my roommates. One of my roommates fiance's has temporarily moved in with us, and the other just started dating someone, so I don't feel bad being with Tyler that much more. When he moves this summer to the country, our lifestyle will change again. I won't be able to eat dinner with him every night or be able to quickly run to my apartment to pick something up when I need to. You learn each others quirks so quickly when in such a tight space. Again, thanks for your posts! Love these honest posts!

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  7. My boyfriend and I are moving in together this summer and I can't wait! It's definitely going to be a challenge but after over 3 years apart, it's about time we get together! I know there will be adjustments but his pilot schedule will definitely make that transition a little bit easier! Thanks for sharing!

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  8. Now that we have been domesticating together for almost 3 months, I'd also like to add that it's not peachy keen, per say, but definitely worth it. And we've still got adjusting to do. But I do have to say that it's been pretty damn easy, but maybe that's because we're serious about each other, know we want to spend our lives together, and know how to support each other when the going gets tough. He's still not used to me bursting into tears when I'm overly stressed because I usually always have a happy face on. And I'm not quite used to the fact that he likes to stay up later and not come to bed when I'm ready to go to sleep. But hey, the wait being over is totally worth it. :) You should do a link-up at some point discussing this topic, I'm sure a bunch of people would participate, and I'd be interested to hear others's post-LDR stories.

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  9. Hi! I recently discovered this blog, and it was actually a blessing as I am in a LDR myself (Miami-Bonn). It all started in July 2011. Long story short: My heart tells me that it will all work out, but my brain is well aware of the obstacles and adjustments that the final move-in together will bring. Anyway, maintaining a LDR takes a lot of courage and sacrifices...Do you guys think that the adjustments of the moving-in are going to be more difficult than the LDR itself? Thank you so much for sharing your experiences! xoxo

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  10. I couldn't have said it any better. This post definitely says it all. My future mister and I will be getting married in August of next year and I am scared and excited at the thought of finally living together with the person I love. Despite our 7 year relationship, I feel like I will learn a lot more about him when we finally live together.

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  11. Awesome post. I think it's important to point out that it's not always easy taking this step. I think you have to pick and choose your battles when you move in together. You both are going to have to make sacrifices and adjustments in many aspects: decorating, tv shows, your day-to-day schedule. Just keep in mind that the most important thing is your relationship, not what the centerpiece of your kitchen table is or the fact that you may have to watch sports more than you'd like. And if your kitchen table centerpiece is more important than your relationship, you probably shouldn't be moving in together :)

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  12. patience and pausing before you speak when you are angry. the first few months living together were really hard even though we were practically with each other all the time in college.

    http://lachapstickfanatique.blogspot.com

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  13. Great post! My fiance and I have done LD for a year. He's moving here this fall right before we get married. So, it's definitely going to be an adjustment!

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  14. My husband takes his shoes off right when he walks in the door too. Silly boys! I was lucky enough to live in the same town as my boyfriend/fiance and now husband so we basically saw each other every day. It was nice to already establish our quirks and likes/dislikes before we moved in together when we got married. I would agree that there is always an adjustment period and there will always be things about your spouse you wish they would do differently; however, it's so important to communicate your annoyances in a positive way. I think my husband and I have wonderful communication skills so whenever one of us has something to nag about the other (usually it's me to my husband...ha) he never takes it bad. It's an adjust me for sure, but it's all about compromise and communication I think!

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  15. For my guy and I the transition from being long distance to living together was okay but that was definitely due to the fact that both of us were open about the moments during which we needed some space.

    There was a lot of "Oh shit, okay, I know you live here but I'm used to you ON A SCREEN and not making a mess of my bathroom so I'm going for a walk now okay bye"

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  16. As a now-united formerly-distant girlfriend, I can really relate to this story! The hardest part to get used to was the actual living with him! (i.e: socks on the floor, toilet seat left up..)

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  17. Such a great topic! After three years of living in our own space, James and I finally got an apartment together. I think the thing that was most difficult was trying not to take the other for granted. Our old visits used to be so hyped with anticipation. We had days since we had seen each other, and every visit seemed like we had both just spent time getting ready, then we'd head out on a date. Once you unite, there isn't time to always feel your best. There's more morning breath and dishes to do. Things do get more challenging, but man there's nothing like seeing both your names on the mailbox for the first time :)

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  18. My experience going from long distance to no distance was very similar - learning to adapt to the established habits of the other and learning how to be around someone so much of the time. The majority of fights between couples come from tiny domestic details - dirty socks on the ground, the never ending toilet seat battle, who loads the dishwasher the "right" way - so my method has been to pick my battles, never go to bed angry, and always, always say I love you.

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  19. I just love reading about you and cv! Even the early days of your relationship...so cute :) It's not all that often that I find a post about marriage that is nearly as sweet and honest as yours always are. xoxo! eliza

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  20. Looove this! I am patiently waiting for our distance time to be over. I know it'll happen when it is supposed to and this post is so encouraging for the anxiety that I'm sure comes with bringing everything together. xx.

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  21. I love this! And although I have never been in a long distance relationship, I can understand the part about living with someone and having to find out their weird living habits. I have lived with my boyfriend for 1 year and I still find out weird things he does. It definitley has some taking used to but we will figure it out eventually!

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  22. Such a lovely, lovely post (per usual!). Living with someone for the first time is definitely an adventure- Our first place is also a loft sans doors (except the bathroom). Learning to appreciate -- or put up with---the other person's habits is such a growing process, and makes you realize how a strong sense of communication and compromise is necessary. Thanks for the thoughtful post AV- you made me smile!

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  23. I wish I would have read this post before moving in with my boyfriend. Thank you so much for your honesty. We were long distance for 10 months (after 6 months in the same town). I moved back in Feb and the first two months were ROUGH. They weren't bad, bu tit was a huge adjustment. Like you said, we were both really used to separate lives and then suddenly they all merged. I think it was made even more difficult by the fact that we went from seeing each other one weekend a month, to every-single-day. It was a lot to take in all at once.

    I'm glad you're doing great now. Thanks for sharing your experience!

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  24. I just read everyone's comments, and they make me feel so much better! I definitely felt like a failure at first, until my honest friends started telling me their "moving in" struggles. I'm also glad I'm not the only one who cries for either no, or a ridiculous, reason, and my BF doesn't know what to do about it! Ha!

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