open line #2.

One of my readers reached out to me recently and I thought it would be the perfect {second} installment of my open line series. For simplicity's sake, we will call this reader {kn} from here on out--please note: initials have been changed.

As always, I'm happy to field your questions--on life, love, fashion, or 
whatever topic is on your heart. My line is always open!

Setting the scene: {kn} approached me with a question about moving...moving away from home {where she's spent all but one year of her life} to a city where she has no roots. The major limiting factor to her move is her townhouse {rockstar that she is, {kn} owns a darling home which her father helped to renovate and she has a strong emotional attachment to it as a result}. As a point of reference, her projected new home is roughly four hours from her current one...definitely a doable distance!

{kn} has also witnessed the inevitable mid-twenties disappearing friend act on numerous occasions in the last year or so. Many of her friends are now married and as she put it "just aren't social anymore." Being the opposite of a wallflower, {kn} doesn't have a tough time making friends...she's simply struggling because the ones she does have seem to be leaving her for their hubbies.

In my opinion, the final two elements of {kn}'s story are very intriguing. The first? She's attempted to make this decision before...last year in fact. Her townhouse didn't sell {boo housing market!}, so it made it impossible for her to move. She also said this wasn't the most "emotionally stable" time in her life, so she was glad the move didn't happen. 

The second element? {kn} didn't stick around for a guy. She stuck around for herself. {This is often not the case, as I'm sure many of you can attest.} During the winter months, she did revisit trying a previous relationship with a former love interest, but it has since fizzled out. {"It went back and forth," she said, but "it didn't work out" in the end.} She does, however, seem resolved that "even if {she met} Mr. Right next week", it wouldn't change her decision to move. She wants to move because it would be an opportunity to step out on her own--and it's something she's always dreamed about doing, seeing as she's basically spent her whole life in one place.

My thought process
{kn} is one BRAVE cookie. She has a solid head on her shoulders and she knows what she wants, which is more than many of us {:cough: or I :cough:} 
can say.

She will only be twenty-something 
once in her life. She deserves to take the chance and try out somewhere new before she's tied down with her future Mr. Right.

My final words to herWhen you feel like you're being left behind, keep a smile on your face. You haven't found Mr. Right yet because he's probably with Ms. Wrong....who is filling his life until he finds you, his Mrs. Right. {Trust me--you'll thank her later...I feel that way about {cv}!} Speaking from the married point of view, I am sure they're not purposely excluding you. Though I will have to say, it's pretty lame that they are. They'll look back and realize their faux-pas. I promise you.

I agree with you that moving isn't going to be a "piece of cake". It won't be, at all. But like you said, I think it would absolutely be worth it. Why? Because it would be your opportunity to stand on your own two feet. To meet new people out of context {aka away from home, college, etc...and make them because you like them, not because of circumstance!}. To open your doors to the possibility of finding Mr. Right. All of these things equal a step in the best direction possible...up!

So, I say move. Or else you'll always wish you did. You'll never forgive your twenty-something self {when you're in your 40s or 80s} if you don't.

What do you think? Was my advice appropriate?
Have you ever been through a similar experience?

A big thank you to {kn} who shared her what was on her heart with little ol' I said at the beginning of this post, I'm always here to answer your questions, big or small. Simply email me at: longdistanceloving{at}gmail{dot}com

Get ready for some {long awaited} NOLA photos tomorrow :) :) :)
I hope you have a fantastic Saturday! xoxo {av}

P.S. Endless thanks to my Friday's Fancies faithful...and to the newcomers to the bunch yesterday! I'm already looking forward to next week!

{just a little food for thought for today!}


  1. I thought the advice was spot on!
    Have a lovely weekend! x

  2. I think that is great advice! I'm currently in a similar situation, where I own my house, and am recently separated, which is hard to find friends to hang out with (they are all getting married, buying houses, having babies = saving money or busy), so I totally get what she is going through, and I think she needs to do whatever makes her happy. And I totally agree…the time is NOW to do it. Good advice! Have a great weekend!

  3. as always your advice is solid and well thought out.

    I can't say if I owned a home I would be too keen on moving, but then again I have a huge piece of my heart aching to get out!

    I think if she moves she will ultimately be happier.


  4. Great advise as usual. I have been considering moving out of state for grad school so this advice comes at the perfect time. I agree with you, this is a decision she might not be able to make at another time of her life, being on your 20s is the time to move away and try new things. I feel like if I don't do it now, I won't ever do it and I wouldn't want to live with that regret asking myself what if.

  5. I think your advice as absolutely perfect and your observations spot on!! As someone who is now in their 30s looking back at the 20s, I can say without hesitation that if there was ever a time to act solely on the basis of what was/is best for you, now is it.

  6. Your advice is perfect. I graduated from college in 2007 and saw all my friends disperse across the country. I stayed in my college city for a year and then decided to look for jobs anywhere on the eastern side of the country. I was ready for a change and wanted to take the same leap that my friends had. I moved to Tampa from Atlanta with no roots, and it has been such a wonderful decision. Yes, it has been hard at times, but it has also given me an understanding of how to make friends outside of college (hard as it may be) and how to think for myself. I've learned to be independent, and I've also met my boyfriend, whom I unquestionably have a future with. So, I would tell her the same thing that you did: go for it! You only live once. If you're unhappy, you can always go back, but if you never do it you'll never know. Have a nice Saturday!

  7. I think that's great advice! You're right- if she doesn't do it now, she won't ever do it. And why not? The city she's in now isn't going anywhere... she can always go back!

    Now I just need to take your advice : ) Nine days out of ten I wish I could just pick up and move to somewhere crazy, like New Zealand!!!

  8. this is so interesting and great advice! my bf (now fiance) had a long-distance relationship for 3.5 years but made it through too. thanks for a great read!

    cute and little

  9. You are very wise, nice, and sweet. I love what you write here. Thank you for giving us such a great advice :)

  10. Great advice!! I love your blog! Thanks for stopping by mine! I am your newest follower!
    Sadie Jane

  11. I love that advice. I had a similar situation when I was 23 years old. I had graduated from college and did not want to return to my home town, and I also thought I would have more opportunity by moving across the country by myself. (granted I did have an aunt, uncle, and cousin where I moved). Either way, I took a chance, learned a lot, and even met the man that I am married to now. Thank goodness that I did it... and I have no regrets! (:

    Best of luck to {kn}!

  12. i love your advice. if not now, when? plus sometimes when you least expect it your life begins anew. i moved to italy with my boyfriend but i had to create a world of my own. now two years later i have my own friends, my own life. it takes patience and courage but in the end it is worth it! go get em kn!

  13. Great advice! - I'm someone who is normally group dependent meaning that I don't really like to move out of my comfort zone on my own to a place where I don't know anyone. But, I've had to do it several times in my life and I always adjust, meet a whole new group of amazing people and am thankful for the experience. I think she should take the plunge and go for it!, I'm sure she will gain so much experience, meet life-long friends, and maybe even meet Mr Right... all in all the possibilities are endless!


  14. Bill Watterson has super amazing quotes! Seriously! :)
    This one is pretty darn great as well!
    {Kn} is definitely one super freaking brave cookie!

  15. (newcomer enjoying your blog :)
    Great advice to her.
    I've been in a long distance relationship for 3 1/2 years and sometimes you have to do things for you and do things for the relationship.
    I transferred to another location for work to live in his city only to have him move away for work, (he's military) 8 months later. Now though I feel/felt stuck in the city I live in, I have made life long friends who are great support for me.

    Now we're a 7 hour plane ride away from each other and it takes a lot of communication, trust and understanding to keep it going as it has.

    Anyhoo, just had to put my 2 cents in. =)