to my best friend, as she becomes a mother.

This is a letter to my best friend as she prepares to become a mother -- and to my best friends who will follow on this path in the years to come....

When I met you, we were young and starry-eyed. We were full of hope in what the future would hold for us. We talked about cute boys, we traveled together, and we shared life's details we wouldn't even share with our own mothers. When we talked about the future, it typically centered around where we might live or who we might marry -- not necessarily about the days we would become a mother. Motherhood seemed like a distant reality. Believe it or not, that distant reality? It's here.

I'll admit: when I became a mother, I felt like I was on my own island. A few of my dear friends who were mothers tried to prepare me for what was to come. No matter how many questions I asked, nothing could have prepared me for the journey that is motherhood. I wish I could prepare you for what is to come, but unfortunately, there is no foolproof guidebook to motherhood that you can buy on Amazon. (If there was, I would have purchased it -- and already sent you a copy.)

I marvel at the mothers who "get it" from the early days. The ones who are brave enough to nurse in public from day one. The ones who shake off the blowouts. The ones who know every last piece of baby gear under the sun. Here's the thing... I've determined most of those mothers are second-time moms. If they're not, good for them. You have to find your own groove in motherhood. It may take you six months; it may take you two years. However long it takes, you can trust I'll be there to share my journey and give my side of the story -- without insisting it's the only way. 

I won't judge if you do or don't breastfeed. I won't judge if you FaceTime me and haven't showered in days. I won't judge if you co-sleep. I won't judge if you choose not to sleep train. (Ok, I may judge if you make your own baby food -- but only because I don't have the time to do it myself.) If you haven't noticed, the theme of this whole paragraph is that I will not judge your journey to motherhood. I simply pledge to be by your side, every step of the way. 

I can try to explain the feeling you'll get when you see your baby (YOUR BABY!) for the first time, but I can't. I can try to explain all the yucky parts of those tender postpartum weeks, but instead, I promise to answer your questions and keep the fear at bay for now. I can try to explain the exhaustion that comes with motherhood, but I will fail (read: it isn't like those all-nighters we pulled in college). I can try to explain the elation with seeing your baby's firsts, but until you witness that first smile or that first roll, my words won't mean much. You'll understand soon enough.

Truth be told, I cannot wait to see how your life changes once you have that baby (your baby!!!) in your arms. It sounds incredibly cliché, but it's true: it may not always be easy, but I promise it is always worth it. Our friendship will inevitably change once you become a mother. I am ok with that. Why? We will have a whole new facet to our late-night phone calls, text message chains, and frantic emails. It will no longer be about you and me -- it will be about something much, much more. 

I don't want to lose sight of what brought us together in the first place, of course. When I signed on to be your best friend many moons ago, I signed up for this too. We still have so many memories to make! I can't wait to take tandem family vacations. I'm already excited for those rare girls' weekends, when we leave the boys with our brood and get a chance to relax. Most of all, I look forward to the days when we're old and gray, chatting about our grandkids and laughing about our early days. 

I may not be your sister, but I am your best friend. Whether you realize it or not, you will be an incredible mother. How do I know? You're the friend I've needed in the lowest of the lows and the highest of the highs. You're smart. You're generous. You're thoughtful. You're compassionate. You're you. The only piece of advice I have is this: trust your gut. You've got this -- and you've got me right by your side, whenever you need me.

a complete baby preparedness + registry guide (from a second time mom).

I know ten million similar posts exist in the blogosphere, but I have a few friends who have asked for registry insight and I wanted to have one place to point them. This is the equivalent of about 12 blog posts in one, so forgive my wordiness. If you're not on the market for baby goods now, you might want to bookmark this post for future reference. Have a sister or friend who's pregnant now? Feel free to pass this along.

As always, these items were what worked for our family and our budget. Many similar items can be found, but I simply wanted to have a "catch-all" post for friends and readers who have asked for this resource. Some of these items have appeared on previous newborn survival guides I published (after baby one and after baby two), but I figured it was worth putting everything in one place. While pulling this post together, I realized this should really be deemed "everything you could possibly need for baby (and more)", not just what your registry should contain. Not all of these items will be used in baby's first year, so don't get overwhelmed. Remember: this is an exciting time -- and you just have to take it one choice / purchase at a time.

Last but not least, since you can't always refer to a blog post, I also made a PDF containing all the information you'll find below. Click here to provide your email and you'll receive a link once you confirm your subscription! It isn't a fancy eBook, but it is a thirteen page (!!) document which goes from soup to nuts. Download it to bring along as you register or just to share with your significant other. Enjoy!

Need to have:

• Fisher Price Rock n Play Sleeper - Whenever anyone asks what to include on their registry, a Rock n Play -- as my phone knows as a RnP -- is always the first out of my lips. I don't care what color or version you get, but I do recommend it is one in which you can put batteries for the vibration. It's like the magic fingers I used to love at hotels in the late '80s ;) I'd never seen a fancy version like this, but in my research for this post I found it. I'm not sure it's worth the extra cash, but I figured it was worth sharing!
• 4Moms Breeze Playard - This playard isn't light on the wallet or biceps, but it is the easiest one I've seen to assemble. We've used ours for a myriad of things, from sleep to diaper changes. We kept ours on the first floor of our house in the early months as a changing station / nap location. It recently made the journey upstairs to our room as an in-between while we transitioned our son into a toddler bed to free up the crib for baby #2.
• 4Moms Breeze Sheets (Bassinet + Playard) - These sheets are made specifically for the Breeze, which means it fits snugly and leaves me worry-free if it's being used for sleeping. I also like that these sheets are waterproof, which is good for diaper changes ;) I recommend getting two of each size to have one when the other is in the wash. It doesn't come with any sheets, so if you don't buy these, it's not exactly comfortable for baby.
• ERGObaby Original Swaddlers - When it comes to keeping your baby bundled, these swaddlers were our favorite. Both of our babies were little Houdinis, so I loved the pockets for the arms to keep the startle reflex at bay. If you live in hotter climates (I'm jealous!), but these ERGObaby Lightweight Swaddlers are the same -- just in a bit lighter material.
• Halo Wearable Swaddle Blankets - We discovered Rosie liked her arms free after six or eight weeks. We tried one of these Love To Swaddle options, but we kept coming back to the Halo brand.
• Aden + Anais Sleeping Bags (Options from Serena + Lily or direct from Aden + Anais) - Once babies start to roll, the tight swaddles are no more. These wearable sleeping bags are perfect over a footie and give just the right amount of warmth. I don't love the fleece versions because they're so thick; the cotton ones are what I prefer.

Nice to have:

• Deluxe DockaTot - I'm in a few Facebook groups for moms and a DockaTot is consistently lauded for sleep success. I discovered them a few weeks after our second was born, but I never pulled the trigger to get one of our own. Though I can't speak from experience, I hear they are amazing for making the crib transition -- which is something worth noting! (You can find a few other designs here.)
• Halo Bassinest Bedside Swivel Sleeper - This is another item I hear about frequently from my friends who are new moms. Whether you're breastfeeding or not, being able to grab at arm's length in the middle of the night would be clutch. This was the only downside for me of the Rock n Play. I wished it was taller, so I wouldn't have to bend down as far -- especially in the week or so after delivery.
• Babymoov Lovenest Flat-Head Pillow - I found this when our second little one seemed to always sleep with her head facing the right. It may be a gimmick, it remains to be seen, but I felt better about her head when I used it. I discontinued using it after she was rolling around more.
• 3-inch Pack n Play Mattress - If we're staying somewhere besides our house and don't have our own Breeze with us, I always try and make sure to have one of these on hand. The crinkly sound and uncomfortable feel of some Pack n Plays make it virtually impossible to imagine a little one getting a good night's sleep. This mattress gives a little extra cushion and has proven to give us more sleep when we're not in our normal sleeping quarters. (Extra sleep on vacation = priceless!)
• Marpac Dohm All-Natural White Noise Sound Machine - This was a more recent addition to our arsenal, but I'd heard people rave about this particular machine for ages. We run this puppy at night in the Jack n Jill bathroom, which separates their bedrooms -- in the hopes that one won't disrupt the other's sleep.

Of your own choosing:

• Crib - This kind of goes without saying, but for full preparedness, I included it. The crib we got from Pottery Barn has since been discontinued, so don't always rely on it being around forever. Register also for the "conversion" kit if you want an easier transition to a toddler bed. Many cribs choices have this as an option.
• Crib Sheets - I would recommend getting two (or three!) to ease your mind when that middle of the night blowout occurs. No baby wants to sleep in a sheet-less crib!
• Glider - We haven't purchased a second glider for baby #2's room, but in some ways, I wish we had. I love the peacefulness that this chair brings. Choose whatever style you like. If it's available (and suits your style), try to find one which reclines. You'll understand why later.

Need to have:

• Little Unicorn Hooded Towel Set (Available at Anthropologie and direct from Little Unicorn) - Whether you register for them or not, you'll end up with a ton of hooded towels. (People love babies in towels!) We received one of these towels when Rosie was born and I fell in love. They're beautiful and functional, the perfect combination!
• Skip Hop Moby Bath Spout Cover - Perfect for boys and girls, this prevents run-ins with the scary, shiny, and hard faucet.
• Skip Hop Moby Waterfall Bath Rinser - A close companion to the spout cover, this 'rinser' has the ideal design for kindly pouring water on baby.
• Puj Tub - Here's a choice that depends greatly on your bathing set-up, but this is the infant tub we love. It folds up pretty compactly for easy storage -- and there is a travel version if you need it.
• Boon Fleet Stacking Boats - After reading an absolutely disgusting article somewhere about mold found in baby bath toys, I swore off any toys which could somehow hide water. These stacking boats are ideal because they have no little crevices to grow mold. Win!

Nice to have: 

• Kyte Washcloths - Since babies have delicate skin, I'm an advocate of these extra soft cotton washcloths. They certainly aren't a necessity, but it is a sweet little luxury.
• Munchkin White Hot Inflatable Duck Safety Tub - We used this tub when James made his way from the Puj to the actual tub. It's about to come out stoarge for Rosie's transition. Its pricetag and size make it attractive because it doesn't serve a purpose for a crazy long time. I think we used it for about a month while James developed stronger sitting skills.

Need to have:

• OXO Tot Perfect Pull Wipes Dispenser - I may be in the minority here, but I decided my kids didn't need warm wipes to manage their messes. I love this OXO option because it has a weight which goes on top of the wipes and works with any brand you decide to use. The wipes stay wet, which doesn't always happen if the lid on a package isn't secure. (We've even brought one for each of our kids at daycare and their providers love them!)
• Munchkin Waterproof Changing Liners - I've professed my love of these for years, but they're perfect for at home and on the go use. They have a waterproof barrier and can go on top of whatever cute changing pad cover you choose... because you won't be as upset to throw away a $3 changing pad liner as you would your favorite (and more expensive) changing pad cover.
• Regal + Lager Dékor Plus Diaper Pail - Not going to lie, we have three of these in our house: one in each of our kids' rooms and another in our living room, where we spend the most time. I've NEVER ever had a smell issue from these. They're easy to change once they're full and even have a handy cutter on the door (which took us about 18 months to discover... oops?). There's nothing worse than walking into a house and smelling diapers. When there are two under two, I was worried it was inevitable. The Diaper Dékor is a miracle worker!
• Munchkin Contour Foam Changing Pad - You really can't go wrong with a basic foam changing pad. Some people choose really posh, fluffy ones, but I don't see the point. You want something that isn't going to soak in every bodily fluid which might pour out... so waterproof is the way to go. You might want to buy a few anti-slip pads to hold it in place, depending on what surface you place the changing pad.

Nice to have: 

• Keekaroo Peanut Diaper Changing Pad - When we were on Nantucket for vacation in September, we used a rental company for a good amount of our baby needs. They had a Keekaroo in stock, so we gave it a try. Though I generally think it's kind of ugly, it worked beautifully for a tiny infant and a rambunctious toddler. I couldn't get over the aesthetics, but I definitely think it's worth a look for something "all in one" -- no liners or changing pad covers necessary.
• Summer Infant Ultimate Flat Crib Sheet - One of my most seasoned mom friends swears by this crib sheet. We've used it from time to time, but I figured it was worth including since it came with a resounding endorsement from a mom of three.

Of your own choosing:

• Changing Pad Cover - I would be sure to grab two or three of whatever you choose. #accidents 

Need to have:

• KicKee Pants Footies (On occasion, they will come up on Gilt and Zulily -- so that's often when I jump on them!) - I may sound like a broken record on KicKee Pants, but I can't get enough. They're so so so so soft, which is perfect for tiny little babies.  I don't mind the snaps, but if you do, Magnificent Baby is always an option.
• Goumikids Goumiboots + Goumimitts - Soft and sweet, these rather neutral booties and mittens are ideal year-round. The booties grow with them, thanks to the Velcro-like closure. The mittens protect their delicate faces from their razor sharp nails. Win win!
• Little Unicorn Muslin Blankets or Aden + Anais Swaddles (Multiple options at Nordstrom and Bloomingdale's) - I feel like blankets count in the "wearing" category for those early days. You can never have enough of these in your arsenal. They also work as a nursing cover (tied at the neck) when you're in a punch. I also love the KicKee blankets for swaddling, but they feel totally different than the muslin.

Nice to have: 

• Zutano Cozie Fleece Booties - If this was just a winter baby registry list, this would be in the "need to have" category. As the name implies, they're perfectly cozy to prevent cold toesies. They now have non-skid bottoms, so I may even get a pair for our toddler this winter. I just wish they came in my size!
• Freshly Picked Moccasins - Do you need these moccasins? No. But are they adorable? Yes.
• Baby Bling Headbands - I swore I'd never put a bow on my daughter, but these Baby Bling Headbands taught me otherwise. They'll work from birth until they won't let you put a headband on them anymore ;)
• Colonial Mills Wool Blend Hamper with Lid - Based in Pawtucket, Rhode Island, one of my closest friends introduced me to Colonial Mills just before James was born. They make classic rugs and house goods, one of my favorites being this handy hamper. We have a few to hold toys and clothes. They're well made and won't hurt if someone takes a tumble into them!
• This is an older post, but here are some fun ideas on building a building a gender neutral baby wardrobe. I don't generally recommend putting clothing on a registry (since you're likely to get a ton of it unsolicted), but I wanted to put the food for thought in this post ;)

Of your own choosing:

• Basic white onesies (short + long-sleeved) - There's nothing cuter than a baby in a basic white onesie. They're good for wearing under belly-baring outfits or just chilling on the couch at home. 

Need to have:

• My Brest Friend Nursing Pillow (Black + White Slip Cover) - I know everyone thinks of the Boppy as the #1 nursing pillow, but I personally think My Brest Friend is superior. The buckle helps keep it in place and there is even a bit of back support. 
• Anita Seamless Nursing Bra with Underwire - Some people dislike underwire in their nursing bras, but I need it. It isn't bulky and pulls down over the ladies with ease. The straps are supportive and stay in place. I actually miss wearing it when I'm no longer nursing!
• Milk Snob Cover - I wish I had discovered Milk Snob when I was nursing in public with James. It may be second mom confidence, but I truly attribute my Milk Snob to ability to nurse more comfortably in public. Available in some fun patterns and bold colors, this nursing cover can also serve as a car seat cover and as a shopping cart cover.
• Medela Pump In Style Advanced Breast Pump On-The-Go Tote - I rented a hospital grade pump with my first little one, but I managed to get this more portable pump through insurance with my second. The letdown feature is key and it's relatively light for travel. I also purchased a battery pack, which makes it super easy to pump... anywhere (including a club in the Hamptons while attending a bachelorette party -- I'm speaking from experience! ha!)

Nice to have:

• Le Mystere Underwire Nursing Demi Bra - This bra has a totally different feel than the bra I mentioned above. The cups are molded and it feels a bit more like armor, but it does feel a bit more "sexy" (as nursing bras come) than most.
• Dr. Brown's Gia Nursing Pillow + Pillow Cover - I've spent a great amount of time with my nursing pillows over the last couple of years. I especially like that this pillow isn't so bulky all the way around. It has a more "shrimp" like shape, if that makes sense, and offers the right angle for baby. (More cover options are also available on Etsy.)
• Medela Breastmilk Cooler Set - If you plan to travel while you're pumping, register for at least one of these cooler sets. It fits beautifully in the pump bag I mentioned above, but it also eliminates any extra wiggle room and quells my fear of #spilledmilk.

Of your own choosing:

• Nursing Pads - 8 out of 10 friends (I'm guessing here) will have some leaky issues until supply is regulated. It doesn't really matter what brand you use (I'm brand loyal and used the Medela ones), as long as you have them. I didn't like the washable ones... because milk can be stinky. There, I said it. I just wanted to throw mine out after they were soaked, rather than needing to wash them.
• Lanolin - This is something to have on hand, but be forewarned -- it can stain (even though it's clear!). A few brands exist, but they all work virtually the same. I used this one. I did learn that a few drops of breast milk (left exposed) work wonders on painful nipples.

Need to have:

• Phil & Ted's Poppy Highchair - I'll admit I didn't do a ton of research around highchairs, but I chose this one because I didn't want a poofy cloth one which would be hard to clean. From those first days eating purées to recent days simply trying to keep James in one place, this one has served us well. It wipes down easily. The only thing I could possibly complain about is that I trip over its legs.
• Boon Clutch Dishwasher Basket - These are an absolute lifesaver. Whether you give your baby formula or breast milk, there will inevitably be bottles to clean. It took me forever to learn that you could actually wash your bottle parts in the dishwasher. (Our dishwasher even has a sanitizing rinse cycle.) We keep this in the top level of our dishwasher at all time. It works for everything from bottle parts to sippy cup parts.
• Boon Grass Drying Rack - Should you choose to wash bottles or other baby gear by hand, this drying rack is the way to go. I'll admit we also use it for washing delicate wine glasses ;) (If you're against the green, you can find it here in white!)
• Dr. Brown's Natural Flow Wide Neck Bottles - We've been Dr. Brown's fans from the very beginning. If I'm being honest, it is also the only bottle I've ever tried with our little ones. Dr. Brown's claims to help reduce feeding problems like colic and spitting up, so it's probably why I like them. There are a few parts to their bottles, but I'm used to them and our little ones have never had an issue. There available in multiple sizes (here's the next size up) and they're virtually indestructible.  (Everyone talks about Comotomo, but again, I've never tried anything else. Every baby is different, so you may have to give a few different bottles a try.)
• Aden + Anais Burp Cloths - In the early days, these cloths work beautifully for draping over shoulders when burping tiny infants. They can also be snapped and provide lots of coverage once they're a little bigger. These Aden + Anais Snap Bibs are another cute option in the same fabric once babes have moved on to more regular bottle feeding and eating solids.
• Green Sprouts Stay-Dry Infant Bibs - We sent these bibs with both babies to daycare. They're not particularly soft, but they do the trick and have a waterproof inner layer. This is great for particularly drooly or messy babes!
• ZoLi Bot 6 oz. Straw Sippy Cup - We did a ton of sippy cup trials, but none scored well with our son until we found the ZoLi Bot. Some little ones do better with a straw -- and James is one of them. We bought a few in each size (here's the other - ZoLi Bot XL 9 oz. Straw Sippy Cup). One tip: buy only one color per size to reduce confusion which top goes with which cup. The straws are cleaned easily when placed in the open position in our Boon Clutch. They only leak when the lid isn't placed on correctly.
• The Honest Company Formula Dispenser - Once James made the move to formula around 6.5 months, I lived by these dispensers. I could get ready to get out the door without having to lug the entire container of formula with me.

Nice to have: 

• Stokke Tripp Trapp Highchair - This attractive highchair was added to our seating arrangement around the time James turned one. It seems to work well for the slightly older set. We use it interchangeably with our Poppy Highchair. (Hello, baby stuff central!) In order to make it functional as a highchair, you'll also need to buy the Chair Tray and the Baby Set. This makes it a much less cost effective option. However, it is a little easier to swallow long term as it grows with them with its adjustable foot rests and removable tray.
• Phil & Ted's Lobster Portable Clip-on Highchair - If you don't love using restaurant highchairs, this is a great alternative. Some tables can't accommodate it, so be aware it may not work everywhere. It packs up in a handy and non-obnoxious bag. In my opinion, it definitely falls in the nice to have, not the need to have category.
• EZPZ Happy Mat Silicone Feeding Mat - You won't put this in the rotation until your little one is a bit bigger, but this feeding mat is fun for baby and easy to clean. Unfortunately, they don't work well on either of the high chairs I mentioned. It is great for those days when you allow your little one to belly up to the table. If you were willing to tote it along, it would be nice for eating out of the house. (One thing we always have on hand when we go out to eat? These Neat Solutions Neat-Ware Table Toppers. Great to create a clean surface on the go!)
• KicKee Bibs - My beloved KicKee fabric in a big in cute solids and patterns? Sign me up.
• OXO Tot Roll-up Bibs - Need an easy bib to toss in your diaper bag which wipes clean? This is your winner.
• ZoLi Stuck Suction Bowl Feeding Kit - As we try to limit the mess in our kitchen and dining room, this suction bowl has helped immensely. It prevents cereal bowls from ending up on our little one's head... 98% of the time. (They do make good hats!)
• OXO Tot Flippy Snack Cup + Munchkin Snack Catcher - Either one of these cups are handy for snack food on the go. (Think puffs, yogurt bites, and berries!) I like the Munchkin version for younger ones and the OXO version for slightly older babes.
• Boon Pulp Silicone Feeder - Part teether and part feeder, this is a handy food delivery device. Put cold purées inside and it helps calm those painful teething gums -- and gives them a snack at the same time.

 Need to have:

• BabyBjorn Bouncer - When we purchased this for James at four weeks, I wished we had it a few weeks sooner. Thankfully, we had it from the day we got home from the hospital with Rose. Once they both hit about eight or ten weeks, this Toy Bar became a handy addition for easy entertainment.
• Boppy Newborn Lounger - We didn't have this lounger with James, but I wish we had. I got it when Rosie was about two weeks old and I was glad I did. It just felt like a safe place to place a tiny baby without fear of rolloffs or rollovers. Once Rosie turned about ten or twelve weeks, it slowly made its way out of our rotation.
• Skip Hop Farmyard Activity Gym - You can pick any activity gym you want, but you will definitely need one. It is wonderful for tummy time and can enchant little ones of many ages (including a toddler, who now likes to lay underneath of it with his sister). I chose this classic, very gender neutral set. It also has some coordinating toys, mentioned in the nice to have category!
• Skip Hop Playspots Foam Floor Tiles - These super neutral floor tiles help make your house or apartment feel less like a daycare. They help soften the blow when little ones tumble as they start moving and shaking.
• Original Sophie the Giraffe + Sophie the Giraffe Teether - They're worth the hype. That's all.

Nice to have:

• 4Moms Mamaroo - This is a much hyped registry addition, but it also comes with a bit of a pricetag. To save money, I bought ours on Craig's List. I'm glad I didn't pay full price because neither of our kids loved it. I did buy a Newborn Insert to help make it cozy. Some babies looooove it, which is why I included it -- ours just did not.
• Pottery Barn Kids Fun on the Farm Stacker + Pottery Barn Kids Farm Animal Rattle Blocks Set - These match the activity gym I referenced above. They are well made and didn't show their age once James moved on from them.
• Bumbo Floor Seat - Another perennial registry favorite, it gets my endorsement... but we didn't use it nearly as much as I expected we would. Once James and Rosie were beginning to spend some time sitting up, this was another stop on their activity rotation in our living room.
• KidCo Go-Pod Portable Activity Seat - This came highly recommended to me by a dear friend and seasoned beach goer. For all intents and purposes, it's a portable jumperoo. It is handy to have for keeping babies in one place while on the beach (and off of it, too). It folds up smaller than a camping chair, so its slim size is also a selling point.

Of your own choosing:

• Jumperoo - They're ugly and huge, but babies LOVE them. The giggles and smiles they bring help make their aesthetic ickiness more tolerable. The good news is that they don't need to stay in your living space forever ;)

Need to have:

• Bumbleride Indie All Terrain Stroller - I fell in love with this stroller at a local children's boutique. As a runner, this is perfect for short jogs (probably not for speed work or marathons). As a mother, it's great because you can still be active and go over crazy terrain with ease. They also have an Indie Twin, to which we have now transitioned since we have two on board. A lot of people go for a BOB or something similar, but this has my ringing endorsement. It is American made and isn't as bulky as some joggers can feel. I would go test out as many as you can before you make your decision, but if you're like me, you'll always come back to Bumbleride.
• UPPAbaby VISTA Carbon Frame Convertible Stroller - I wish we purchased this when we had James. It is an ideal stroller for two under two, allowing multiple configurations which fits both little ones comfortably. It also works really well for one baby, coming with a bassinet (which can actually be used as a place for the baby to sleep in the house!) that feels comfortable and cozy. There are ENDLESS accessories which you may need, like plastic rain covers and car seat adapters, but you should wait until you make all your gear choices before you buy.
• UPPAbaby G-LUXE Reclining Umbrella Stroller - We were grateful to receive this portable stroller off of our registry. We like it so much that we may even pick up the double version in the future. It is the smallest of our strollers, but it still feels sturdy and has weathered many trips. I would also make sure to have the UPPABaby G-Series TravelSafe Travel Bag because UPPABaby will cover any issues on the spot, if their bag is in use.

Nice to have:

• UPPAbaby SnugSeat Seat Inset - We didn't get this until Rosie was a bit older, but it is handy to have when newborns are SO small and it feels like they're falling out of their seats.
• UPPABaby CozyGanoosh Footmuff - You won't need this if you live somewhere warm, but it is a fantastic option for babes in colder climates.

Need to have:

• Maxi-Cosi Mico AP Infant Car Seat - As time moves on, baby seats get better. We've loved our Maxi-Cost Car Seat because its as light as they come. This is much more important than you realize as your baby goes and you're suddenly carrying a huge weight on your arm. It weathered 7 months with James and over 5 months with Rosie. I would certainly get it again. However, if we were going to get something new, I would consider the UPPAbaby MESA Car Seat (as it fits in our stroller system without an adapter) or the Nuna Pipa Car Seat (as it comes highly recommended by friends). This is a very personal choice, so go and feel them before you decide! Whatever you choose, be sure to get a second base -- because it is one less thing to worry about when transporting little ones.
• Britax Boulevard Clicktight Convertible Carseat - Another very personal choice which requires your own research, we went with this Britax model after we did our own. We moved James to this seat because he was a BIG boy and I was tired of carrying the infant seat. I anticipate keeping Rosie in hers a bit longer because she's slightly more petite and because it's easier to wrangle a baby and a toddler that way ;)
• Skip Hop Chelsea Diaper Bag Backpack - A fun spin on this classic diaper bag, I'm aching to own this one for myself. Backpacks are cool, I promise -- especially when you need one extra hand free. I include this here, even because I don't own it, because I trust their brand and their reviews. It's also not ugly in the slightest, so that's something, right? (You can also see a few others in a round-up I did before baby #1 was born!)
• On the Go Sleep Sheep - Getting your little one out of the house can come with anxiety about crying and interrupting those around you. Thankfully, this sleep sheep (and others like it) help calm your little one and you as well.
• ERGObaby 360 Baby Carrier - Baby carriers are another hot item, but this is the one which worked best for us. I liked that baby could face in during the early days and face out once they got a bit bigger. I always feel like the carrier is securely placed around my hips. It also works for my husband with just a few quick adjustments.
• ERGObaby Easy Snug Cotton Poplin Baby Insert - This is an updated version of what the infant insert we have. This is ideal for carrying tiny babies without a worry.

Nice to have: 

• Bébé au Lait Love Muslin Car Seat Cover - While I love my Milk Snob cover, this is another wonderful (and breathable!) option.
• Rebecca Minkoff Knocked Up Baby Bag - This is the baby bag I treated myself to during a Shopbop sale a few years back. It cost a pretty penny, but it feels less like a diaper bag and more like a normal bag I might carry -- without table top covers or toys or diapers inside.
• Solly Baby Wrap - Another baby carrier option, this one is beloved by many -- including me. I didn't always have the patience to wrap it, but I always felt like my littles were cozy and warm while wearing it. Regardless of which one you get, it works for all-sized humans, which is also a plus.
• Baby K'Tan Wrap Baby Carrier - The K'Tan was an early favorite of ours, which is less crazy to try and put on than the Solly (in my opinion). It is a sized option, however, so it doesn't work across families. 

Need to have:

• Nest Security Camera - You have plenty of options when it comes to baby monitors, but this camera was the one which fit our needs. It is a positive for us, but for others, it is a negative -- it can be viewed from anywhere on a compatible phone or tablet. Call me a bad mom if you wish, but I don't have the monitor on at all times (except I do have it on once we go to bed). We have two cameras now with two little ones -- and both can be seen from the same screen. We're fans!
• Beautycounter Baby Soothing Oil - Gosh, I wish I had this when James was born. It truly feels like a dream when you put this on baby's skin. It is lightweight and fragrance-free -- and doesn't stain clothes as other oils can. We use it right before bedtime to give Rosie a tiny massage. I wish I had that every night ;)
• Beautycounter Baby Gentle All-Over Wash - This silky smooth wash is something I want to add to my routine. I feel confident knowing that it doesn't have unnecessary chemicals and it rinses easily to leave my little ones clean.
• Beautycounter Baby Daily Protective Balm - For little eczema spots, this balm works wonders.
• Braun Thermoscan No-Touch + Forehead Thermometer - You need one of these. They come from a variety of brands, so pick your poison. This is the one we have. I didn't spend much time on the choice. It works, though not perfectly -- but none of them do. The next item is a bit more precise...
• Vicks Baby Rectal Thermometer - I know, I know. Who wants this? But I promise you'll want one around for better readings than a forehead thermometer can give.
• FridaBaby NoseFrida Nasal Aspirator - It looks gross, but it is truly essential. This snot sucker will help you get some sleep back on those stuffy nights for your little one. You'll also want some replacement FridaBaby NoseFrida Hygiene Filters, some Little Remedies Saline Spray to help loosen the phlegm, and  Boogie Wipes to clean up the mess without yucky residue.
• FridaBaby Windi the GasPasser - I didn't use these regularly, but they did assist well when our kids weren't regular -- if you catch my drift ;)

Nice to have: 

• Em's Baby Earmuffs - If you're going to see fireworks or a sporting event with a baby in tow, this will help you feel more confident that their little ears are protected.
• WubbaNub Pacifier Toy - Neither of our little ones were fans of pacifiers (weird!), but we received a few of these -- and I loved that they came with a tiny stuffed animal that babies could hold. Pacifiers are something nice to have on hand, but be prepared (like bottles) to try out a few brands.
• ZoLi Buzz B. Electric Nail Trimmer - You don't need to spend a lot of money on a nail trimmer, as your teeth work just as well, but if you wanted one, this is a good one to get.
• FridaBaby NailFrida TheSnipperClipper Nail Care Set - Need to cut slightly bigger finger nails? I like this FridaBaby option. You can see through the top to make sure you don't cut too far.

Under $25:

• Milestone Baby Cards - I received these as a gift -- and I love them! They work with both genders and also make a sweet keepsake.
• Junior Babiators Sunglasses - Get some laughs at a shower with this fun add-on to any gift.
• JellyCat Stuffed Animal - No baby can ever have too many JellyCats.
• Baby Lit All Aboard! Books - Along the same lines, no baby can ever have enough Baby Lit!
• Little Unicorn Fruitful Bib Set - Don't know what bibs a mom might choose? These are an adorable (and mostly gender-neutral) option.
• Angel Dear Blankies - James is obsessed with his "lalas". We have quite a few -- all in different colors and faces. A dear friend suggested to have a few extra on hand in case one goes missing, so they'd make a perfect gift -- because a little one can never have enough!

Under $50:

• Chewbeads - Cute and functional, this necklace makes it possible for a new mom to wear jewelry again -- even if it is meant for their little one to chew ;)
• Tooth Fairy in a Box - So much focus is placed on those newborn days, but giving something like this little tooth fairy guarantees your gift will keep on giving many years down the line.
• Moulin Roty Childhood Treasures Souvenir Box - I'm a packrat, so I love this. It would be a wonderful gift for a sentimental mama.
• FridaBaby Bitty Bundle of Joy - Instead of buying all the FridaBaby fixes individually, this could make a great gift. It's a one-stop shop for all my favorites (plus a few extras!).

Under $100:

• Jennifer Ann Personalized Name Blanket - You will see lots of blankets below, but this one is my favorite by far. Chances are you have probably seen ours in my photos -- and it is sure to be a lifelong keepsake. The lead time to receive a blanket is roughly a month, so make sure you have that time baked in before you'd like to give this precious gift.
• Little Giraffe Chenille Blanket - There are cult fans of Little Giraffe, so I'm sure this would be a gift that would be welcomed with open arms by babies and parents in need of some coziness.
• Aden + Anais Dream Blanket - This starry blanket would be a dream-inducing and super soft gift to be enjoyed for years to come.
• Welcome Baby Gift Set - Help new parents care for their little ones in comfort with this boxed set of all the best Beautycounter baby products.

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when you're in it.

On a particularly normal Wednesday morning last week, I had a strange epiphany about my current season of life. I spotted a woman -- maybe 75 or 80 years old -- who had just left her physician's office. Patiently waiting for her bus, she sat without a phone or anything else to distract her. She was very much alone. This is when the lightbulb proverbially went off. Bear with me here, as I explain...

Though {cv} and I just enjoyed a few quiet days away (courtesy of my in-laws), there are few moments when I am ever truly alone in this season of my life. The sight of this elderly woman helped me realize something rather profound and simple all at once: this crazy togetherness will not last forever. One day, if I'm blessed to live another fifty or more years, I will have many lonely yet peaceful days like this sweet woman I observed.

This is when reality hit in full force: I won't always have these early mornings with a giggling toddler in my ear. I won't always feel like a woman on a mission, trying to squeeze in a grocery store run before the daycare closes. I won't always be worrying what is next -- be it our next meal or our son's next milestone. Most importantly (and most poignantly), I won't always be surrounded by the people I love. I saw myself in sweet older woman -- many, many years from now -- as I drove by slowly that morning. I started imagining the treasure troves of memories still to be made between my 30-year-old self and a woman her age. It almost took my breath away. 

So often, this season of life is filled with mundane moments, those everyday ones you are pretty positive will not exist in you memory bank when you're 80. Those 'mundane' moments, however, are precisely the ones I want to hold onto the most. Momentous occasions are almost always documented: first smiles and first steps to baptisms and birthdays. The everyday routine somehow gets the shaft. Some way, some how, I want to do a better job at writing those other moments on my heart. 

This drive-by made me realize something more: this hectic and happy existence is exactly what I wished and prayed for in a different season of my life. I longed to be needed like I am today, something I know many others in my life pine for as they wait on this season to begin. Strangely, I know that many moons from now I will feel the exact same way. My children will be grown -- without their mother worrying about their next meals or milestones (though let's be honest, I will still worry). They will be focused on their own children, spouses, and careers. I want to wake up during those days, filled with gratitude that I lived those packed-to-the-brim years to the fullest. 

To the outside world, our little family is really in it. By in it, I mean that there will never be another time like this in our lives: I'm waddling around with my basketball (or beach ball?) belly and holding the hand of my toddler, while my husband carts around the tremendous load of stuff we all require. One day, we will have free hands and a lighter load, only to reminisce on these days. These long, laughter-filled, sometimes tear-stained days. I will never be a perfect mother -- I gave up on that many moons ago. However, I hope I will look back and remember the littlest of things, like the way {jv} blissfully glided in his swing on a sunny Sunday morning -- and the smiles {cv} and I shared watching him.

Thanks for reading, friends. More soon. xoxo {av}

give yourself grace.

316 days ago, I met my precious {jv}. It feels like yesterday and a million years ago at the same time. Over ten months into this motherhood journey, I have found myself reflecting quite a bit in recent days. I ordered the invites for {jv}'s first birthday this week, though it hardly seems possible that he is any shade older than three months. It is cliché to say that time passes in a blink, but his smiling face is proof it does.

I have written this post over and over in my head for months. It has had a myriad of titles: ten things I would tell my pre-baby self or what I would tell my friends without kids. None of them stuck. If there is anything I have learned in the past 316 days, it is this: every experience is unique, but in some way, shape or form, they are also all the same. Every delivery has a story, but the end result  (99.999% of the time) is a happy baby. Some of my friends have had tremendous success with breastfeeding; others couldn't manage it, no matter how hard they tried. Certain babies roll over at eight weeks, but some take five months. Whatever the tale, the experiences are shared. 

I went back to work when {jv} was 14 weeks old. Now, when I look back on my maternity leave, I barely remember how I filled my days. In a strange way, it is a sort of blissful unknown. Most of the late nights (and early mornings) all fade together. Around five months, a switch clicked and we got into a much better rhythm. While we still don't have a perfect routine, I try to be out the door with {jv} at 7:30am. We typically walk back in the door together around 5:30pm. I cherish those two hours before he goes to bed. During those hours, I ignore my phone, my work email, and everything else. They can wait. When I am with {jv}, I have made it my mission to be all in. While I may not get as much done as my pre-baby self, I know I am investing my time in the right places. I am far from perfect (and still have a lot to learn), but I am getting there.

If I could go back and tell myself one thing, it would be this: give yourself grace. As a perpetual perfectionist, I figured I would bounce back and be my old self in no time. (Breastfeeding burns calories, right?) I gained weight with the pregnancy I lost before {jv}, which I didn't lose between pregnancies. It took me a full nine months to shed those pounds, plus those I gained with {jv}, and really feel (almost) like myself again. Even though I ran until the week before I delivered, I am still slower than my pre-pregnancy self. I am definitely a work in progress.

A few weeks ago, I got an email from a sweet reader who said she missed my posts. It made me happy and sad all at the same time. I miss blogging, but pulling back has been a necessary evil since I went back to work full-time. My blog has always been a respite for me: a place to express myself and a place to find clarity. While I have given myself grace in other areas of my life, I haven't here. I am not going anywhere, I simply have made the choice that my family comes first. It is hard to see others rocket to blogging or Instagram fame, while I hover at the same numbers for a month. However, I have to remind myself that 5, 10, 25 years from now.... none of that will matter. My family will.

Whether you are a parent or not, give yourself an extra dose of grace today. As a queen of to-do lists, I know it isn't always easy to put them aside. Ten years from now, we won't remember the deadline we missed -- but we will remember the moments we shared. (I'll step off my cheesy soapbox now.) Thank you for sticking with me, through thick and thin. xoxo {av}

my new mom uniform.

This weekend, I am thrilled to celebrate my first Mother's Day! I have so many posts on my brain about the journey to motherhood (and how my life has changed since I got here). As of late, I'm feeling all the feelings about being a mom. Instead of a novel on how the last year has changed me, I decided to round out the week with a more light-hearted post about my mommy weekend wear.

Truth be told, my new mom uniform doesn't look that different from what it did before {jv} arrived. The big difference? My little guy has an eye for sparkly things, so I can't wear much in the way of necklaces, bracelets, or earrings. While it simplifies getting dressed, I sometimes feel a little "plain jane" without them. Without further ado, here are the necessary components to my new mom uniform:

ON TOP: Since I'm still breastfeeding, I need a top that isn't impossible to get up over my chest when out in public. I am loving the length of these crinkled gingham J.Crew boy shirts. If I feed {jv} on the go, I'd prefer not to show everyone my lower back -- so longer shirts that also open in front are clutch. (Want a more cost-effective option? These Old Navy button-downs will do the trick.) I know I'll have to re-evaluate this top once the warmer weather decides to stay, but for now, these tops work beautifully. I typically sport one of these maternity tanks (from Target!) underneath my top. Yes, I said maternity tank. I love their length and I don't think I'll ever buy a "normal" tank again.

ON BOTTOM: I protested destructed denim for ages, but I finally broke in late February. These toothpick jeans from J.Crew had just the right amount of character; they were also shorter in length, so they looked cute with sneakers. Most of the sizes are gone, but many retailers are carrying similar styles these days. (This pair from Old Navy isn't destroyed, but I still dig them.) I know many people who swear by leggings, but I generally leave my leggings to work-out wear.

ON FOOT: As pictured above, these New Balance sneaks are the thing of dreams. They bring some pizzazz in my wardrobe when accessories are out. Slip-on sneakers have also become a go-to because they're about as easy as they come. (You can call me boring, but I bought this pair of classic Vans.) I also adore my Supergas. Even once the weather warms up, you'll find me in sneakers 95% of the time. I need to be sure-footed when I'm running around with {jv}. 

---

If I'm not in this uniform on the weekends, I'm typically in some sort of workout gear -- or athleisure, as they're calling it now ;) This get-up, combined with my abbreviated beauty routine, is an easy way to feel put-together without being overdone. I'll have to switch things up a bit when summer comes around, but I have a feeling it might involve this chambray popover and some colorful shorts ;)

Pulling together this post sparked the idea for another post about dressing for the "fourth trimester" (aka the three months after birth). Are there any other topics you'd like me to explore as a new mom? (Or anything you'd like me to explore in general?) Now that I'm getting in a groove with {jv} and work, I'm finally finding more time to blog. When I do post, I want to give you relevant and helpful content, so it'd be great to hear what you'd like to see! I'd also love to hear what's a part of your weekend (or new mom) uniform. xoxo {av}

P.S. If you're newly pregnant (or know someone who is), I wrote this post on building a maternity wardrobe just for you. If you're staying active during your pregnancy, you may also like this post on my favorite pregnancy workout gear. If neither of things apply to you (but may one day), hop on over and pin them for future reference!

#goodnights, every night.

This month, {cv} and I faced the dreaded four month sleep regression headfirst. With the exception of what I will affectionately refer to as the "daycare cough", {jv} is slowly but surely getting the concept that he sleeps in his room and we sleep in our room. When The National Sleep Foundation approached me to do a #GoodNights Spring Cleaning Challenge, I didn't hesitate for a second. With as much as we have been focused on our little one's sleep, it was time to pay attention to our own. 

I never struggled with sleep before the 38th week of pregnancy. I'll admit I was one of those lucky "head hits the pillow" sleepers. When baby {v} arrived, my sleeping world was rocked -- and I don't mean in the glider in our nursery. When we made it out of the fog of the first six weeks, I started paying closer attention to {jv}'s sleep but neglected my own.

Thankfully, the National Sleep Foundation came to my rescue. If anyone knows sleep, it's them. I did a little research before we began our "spring cleaning" and I learned so much about the importance of a good night of sleep. I loved these design tips and worked to employ many of them in our space. It makes perfect sense, but clutter is a subtle sign of chaos. Making a few adjustments to your nightstand can be particularly impactful. (Pro parent tip: we added a basket below each of our nightstands to collect the miscellaneous baby items which end up in our room.)

In looking to improve my sleep, I found out that much of what we were doing to help {jv} learn to sleep through the night would also work for us. I also made a concerted effort to stop using my phone after a set time; if I needed to use it, I made sure the brightness of my screen was dim. After this challenge, I determined my bedtime should be roughly 45 minutes earlier than I had previously been hitting the hay. I am no longer half the night owl that I was. Let me tell you: those extra 45 minutes of sleep are crucial when you're a working mom (or anyone!).

SOURCES: Stacked Crystal Glass Lamp - Exotic Angel Plant - Planter - Candle (no longer available, but similar here) - Rope + Glass Ball - Wicker Basket - Marble Coaster (DIY -- see more info here) - Nightstand (no longer available via West Elm) - Headboard - Bed Linens (no longer available via Matouk)

As an added benefit in this challenge, I received a few eye-opening products from PureCare and Exotic Angel. These National Sleep Foundation partners provide thoughtful solutions for better sleep. Before the #GoodNights challenge, I never thought to swap out our mattress or pillow protectors. Adding a bit of aromatherapy created a calm environment to ease into a deep sleep.  I loved that the lavender scent wasn't too overpowering, as it sometimes can be. The eucalyptus scent also helped with my intense seasonal allergies. All in all, this simple switch made a big difference.

Unfortunately, we couldn't keep the gorgeous Exotic Angel plants out at night -- or else our deep sleep was interrupted by curious kitties. Even still, they brought a burst of life in our tranquil space when they did grace our nightstands.

Decluttering our nightstands and keeping technology at bay wasn't the easiest, but it definitely paid dividends in our sleep. While I know they're not 100% accurate, my Jawbone UP24 band showed a vast improvement in the soundness of my sleep at the conclusion of this challenge. (I'll take it!) I don't want to give it all away, so be sure to check out my post with Sleep.org for the results of my #GoodNights challenge. Regardless of your life stage, sleep is the cornerstone of health and happiness. Our nights may not be perfect with a baby in the house, but we are making the most of the quiet hours we do get ;) If you're spring cleaning, don't forget that your nighttime routine might need a little dusting too. xoxo {av}

P.S. The whole "sleep when the baby sleeps" thing is bogus. Am I right?

This post was sponsored by the National Sleep Foundation. On occasion, I will partner with brands and organizations to bring fresh and relevant content to {long distance loving}. I chose to partner with the National Sleep Foundation because sleep is such a crucial part of the first year of parenthood. All opinions are my own.

two months of motherhood.

Two months ago, I became a mother -- and two months ago, my priorities entirely changed. I knew life would be different after our little one arrived, but I had no clue how much. 

In the delivery room, my OB said that {cv} was in charge of getting me to slow down. She knew it needed to be said. I have always been a busy body. Even in my last month of pregnancy, I was going at full speed to make sure we got in our house before the baby joined us. Looking back on it, the month of November was a complete blur. I remember the exhaustion, but I also remember the elation of seeing everything come together. When {jv} made his grand entrance, he came two days after his due date. Truth be told, I was aching for a few extra days to get things done around the house. The sea of boxes had to wait.

I honestly thought I would jump back into my life as I knew it before, only with a baby in tow. I imagined I would be back to running, blogging, and everything else without a second thought. I couldn't imagine how I would fill a day with a newborn, but I was absolutely wrong. I am writing this post ever so quietly on my MacBook, while {jv} sleeps in the crook of my nursing pillow. He is the reason my productivity went from an all-time high to an all-time low... and for the first time in my life, I could care less. 

If one image could capture this shift, it would be this Instagram. My world stops when he needs me and, sadly, he won't always need me. When he is 16 and running out the door for a date (!!), I will ache for these quiet moments. This is why I am giving myself a pass. The sea of boxes (though they're somewhat artfully hidden) will get unpacked on a quiet Saturday, long in the future. I will get the mountain of thank you notes done one day soon. (To those still owed one, I promise your gift is very much appreciated.) While my to-do list isn't getting any shorter, {jv} just keeps getting bigger and I don't want to miss a minute of it. 

The most surprising thing about motherhood is truly my ability to let things go. I will always thank my son for giving me the gift of peace. I don't let problems fester anymore; I confront them. I am slowly but surely conquering my severe FOMO (fear of missing out). His arrival, coupled with my looming 30th birthday, remind me that life truly is short. I want to fill my days with things that matter, not petty things. If that is what I've learned from two months of motherhood, I can't wait to see what the future teaches me. xoxo {av}

P.S. A word to those non-mothers who see friends like me get swept up in the baby wave: we're still here. Don't think we've lost our heads, though maybe we have just a little. The truth is that we may not want to dump stories of long nights and messy diapers on you. Why? Because we want you to have babies one day too! We want to hear about all the things you're doing in the "real world". Keep in mind that this is a season of our lives, not forever. Though she may look tired and a bit ragged, the friend you love is still hidden under there.