why you should always eat the cupcake.

The day I got married, I weighed ten pounds less than I do today. Everyone always warned you about the "freshman 15", but I don't remember any warnings about the "marriage 10". I'm here today to share why those last few pounds aren't worth worrying about for another second.

{one of our engagement photos from 2009 - courtesy of Kate Headley; see more here + here}

The reality is that as hard as I try to get back to "wedding shape," I never get there. Recently, I finally accepted it is because I am not supposed to get back there. In the months leading up to our wedding, stress may have aided in my petite size for our big day. {I was working out, but no more than I normally do.} Our wedding day was an absolutely wonderful whirlwind. When we left for our Parisian honeymoon, I gave myself the green light to finally relax and enjoy. 

In the three years and some odd months since our wedding, I made the decision to keep enjoying life like we did in Paris. I love running and going to the gym, but I also love to travel and eat cheese. Finding the balance of these loves is certainly key. There have been times in the last three years when the equilibrium was off {thanks to a stress fracture from marathon training}, but I got back on board as soon as I could.

Thanks to #tbt, I find myself looking at pictures of myself from my early 20s and wish I had that body back. On the other side of the coin, I realize I am much kinder to my body today than I was at age 21. I eat real meals {because I can afford to go out to dinner and not to the dining hall}. I exercise five days a week. I sleep like a semi-normal person. The difference? I let myself have the cupcake today when my younger self would have passed. Does this mean we have the green light to eat whatever I want? No. Everything in moderation, of course. I simply mean that I no longer deny myself the right to enjoy life with food.

I tentatively asked {cv} the other day about this topic. The thing he said which stuck {and actually gave me the courage to finally write this post} was this: We've lived. We've traveled. The weight doesn't make me like you any less than the woman I married--it only makes me love you more.  In hearing that from him, I realized something big: those last few pounds are just the last few pounds.  {cv} isn't going to run for the hills because I weigh a few more pounds than I did on the day we got married. I "earned" that weight over marvelous dinners with my husband, fun nights out with my best friends, and big Italian family dinners. 

At 28 years old, it is pretty weird to look in the mirror and see a body that isn't like the one you had ten years ago. I'm certainly much less tan. I'm much more womanly. I have hips. I no longer have 18 year old boobs. {I said it, not you.} I have a few wrinkles--or as {cv} calls them "smile lines". I'm also old enough to finally accept that I'm not going to have a six pack. {Kudos to those of you who do, but I'm happy in my one-pieces.} I'm not perfect--nor will I ever be. I'm okay with that. I'm making the decision from here on out that what I am is enough. Life is too short not to eat the cupcake {or brownie or ice cream} placed in front of you. 

I'll admit: this was a pretty big topic for a random Thursday. This post has been lingering in the back of my brain for a long time. I always back off out of fear that someone might judge me or say that I actually do look better ten pounds lighter. I don't know what gave me the courage to write this today, but I hope you'll be kind in your comments and give your two cents on the topic. If you take away anything from this post, let it be this: always eat the cupcake. xoxo {av}


DISCLAIMER:  I'm not writing this post to get the "oh, you're so thin" comments. I'm writing this post 
because I think we all deserve a break from the weight rat race--and a cupcake when we want one.

22 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh AV I can't believe you posted this. This post has been on my mind for a few months now, honestly since March when we got married. In the past 6 months I've gained 15 lbs, and it has been super frustrating trying to fit in my pre-honeymoon clothes. I guess I got so excited going down a size before March 23 that I didn't realize after March they'd be super snug! I've laced my running shoes back up again and committed to eating healthier, but like you said- I love a good cupcake or brownie or ice cream or couple of beers! I'm usually not one to turn any of them down because I'll try to make up for it in the gym! To me, its not the number on the scale, its the "I want to feel good and feel healthy"! Thank your for the reminder because I am sure there are many of us who feel this way! Now I'm going to enjoy my fruit, yogurt, and granola for breakfast :) xoxo

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  2. Oh my gosh--- you are so small and cute! Stop it!! Keep eating those cupcakes (or froyo world for that matter). Miss you girl.

    xo
    Lauren
    www.annacroswell.com

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  3. This is so great AV! i'm currently detoxing/dieting after a pretty luxurious 9 month splurge on food and wine and am planning to get down to my ideal weight for my wedding next year. but after that, i know i'll loosen up and this makes me excited for it hahahh! such a good attitude to have x

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  4. This is such a great post, thanks for sharing :)

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  5. I loved reading this. Treating your body with love is so much more important than having the skinniest one on the block for sure.

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  6. you are a sweetheart, and i'm sure you were beautiful then as you are now and you will be 10 years from now! it's great that you're sending the message of loving yourself out there. good for you!

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  7. Thank you so much for posting this! I was married a little over a year ago and have gained that same ten pounds. We even had the Parisian honeymoon as well, along with all the fine dining and wine and cheese. I've been feeling bad about myself and the way I look. I tried talking to my husband about it, but he claims to have never noticed. And maybe he's telling the truth. Maybe I am just too hard on myself. Your post was just the encouragement I needed, so thank you for that!

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  8. Ten pounds is a magic point, where you can make the decision to be happy, healthy, and enjoy that cupcake, or trade all of that in for a point that your body no longer wants to maintain. By my standards, if I'm fit enough to do the things I love {i.e. running, hiking, rock climbing}, then f- the scale, I'm eating a cupcake.

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  9. I struggle with this all the time. My body is quite different that my college days. Which was mostly due to lack of funds - let's be honest. Was mostly due to me buying clothing with my food money! I would like to lose a little of what I gained before we start trying for a baby. I've recently started working out (which I never did before) and I can def say you never regret a workout, when it's over at least!

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  10. Thank you for writing this post. Of all days, I needed to hear this most today. Xo

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  11. This post is dead right! And honestly, the only person who would probably even notice a 10-pound difference is your husband, and he seems to have the right attitude about it. :) I know I personally gained at least 20 pounds this past year during my traveling consultant job (working out and eating right on the road is HARD!), and no one even noticed. They were shocked when I mentioned it. It really isn't that big of a deal!

    P.S. - That cupcake picture is too precious. I love it!

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  12. This is exactly how I feel about life, too! Always eat the cupcake! Great post! :)

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  13. I absolutely adore this post, and kudos to you for posting it. I'm so glad you did! Spaghetti is seriously my weakness, and I always feel bad because I know I'm just adding on the pounds when I devour it. Thank you for reminding me to enjoy my food, it's part of living!

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  14. Great post! Ironically, I got down to my "goal weight" when I stopped dieting and exercising all the time and just let myself eat what I wanted but in moderation. I don't exercise regularly anymore but I make an effort to move daily even if it just means parking farther from a store or taking the stairs.
    I know I could lose a couple more pounds and be the size I want, but I've realized (finally) that those couple pounds are worth the cupcakes, macaroni and cheese and other treats I let myself enjoy. Thanks for sharing!!

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  15. I like this a lot, having grown up with my sister's eating disorder! I find that my ADD medication makes me a lot thinner during the school year (as well as all my stress), but I tend to feel most comfortable and actually get more attention from guys when I just live and eat what I want during the summer. So not worth denying myself anything.

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  16. That photo is SO cute. I love it. I can see it all over Pinterest in just a few days. Anywho, this was inspiring... and that quote about loving you more made my heart smile. You are too cute and I love reading stories about true love. GREAT post!

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  17. I too way more since I got married, just about ten pounds. Honestly, I wish I was about three pounds less (my husband doesn't see the point of the three pounds but I know they would make a difference in how I fit into my clothes) but I know that I will never, ever be ten pounds less again. I'm in my thirties now and that shiz is not coming off. Plus, I live in France. The cheese, baguettes and wine can be pryed from my cold, dead hands.

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  18. This post is perfection, I cannot love it enough! Thank you for writing this down and putting it out into the world :)

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  19. Thanks for sharing such an honest, real post with us. It's so refreshing to hear women encouraging other women to embrace their bodies and be proud of who they are, regardless of size. Thanks for the encouragement... I'm taking it to heart today! :)

    xo, Abby @ Always, Abby

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  20. So much love for you and for this post! <3

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  21. this post couldn't have come at a better time. thank you for your never ending honesty. (and this reminds me of our conversation at the BM expo in 2011. love you always!)

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  22. this post couldn't have come at a better time. thank you for your never ending honesty. (and this reminds me of our conversation at the BM expo in 2011. love you always!)

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