100 days.

{photo via Instagram}

While working on our registry today, I was reminded that we have 100 days until baby {v} is scheduled to arrive. My iPhone also notified me that I'm two weeks away from the third trimester. If I'm being honest, it all feels a little surreal. After our miscarriage last fall, I wondered if I would ever feel the kicks of a little one. I dreamed of what it would feel like to have a baby bump which people actually noticed. In the sadness of those months, I truly questioned whether it would ever happen for us. As the deep freeze of last winter finally lifted, {cv} and I were blessed to have a second chance at parenthood. It was as if the change from winter to spring was our "new" year. A fresh start. A blank canvas. When we found out we were expecting in late March, it was as if the sun began to shine again.

Life is funny like that. I scolded myself for being down in the dumps, but I couldn't shake the sadness of the child that would have been. As tough as it was, I knew God had everything in His hands: the timing of this pregnancy meant my first trimester would be in the books around the same time I would have delivered. Somehow, it made processing that June due date a little easier. Our second pregnancy didn't take away the pain, but this child certainly gave me hope for what else 2014 would hold.

This pregnancy has been full of surprises. Somewhere along the way, this very strong extrovert has become a bit more introverted. I haven't gone the conventional blogger route of sharing weekly updates on my pregnancy. While I take bump photos every seven days, I don't always share them here or on Instagram. On my daily walks, I find myself soaking in the quiet time. Despite my "pregnancy brain", I feel as though I have more clarity than I have ever had. Though I want to share more, I find myself towing the delicate line of my private vs. public life. It is easy to share about mocktailsmaternity wardrobes, pregnancy skincare, and babymoons, but it isn't as easy to share the pitfalls of pregnancy. In my gratitude for this child, it doesn't feel right to complain about the little things. I can't say pregnancy is always peachy; I can say, however, that each passing day makes me more excited to meet this little one.

Since I've been a bit mum on the little details, here are a few tidbits to help answer those burning questions:
-Barring any complications or cold feet, baby {v} is due to arrive December 6th. We are waiting until baby {v}'s birthday to find out the gender! 
-Though we aren't sure when the house will be finished, we are hopeful it will be done before the baby arrives. If it isn't, we will survive. I am surprising myself {and all my close friends} by not being stressed by this prospect. 
-With our move-in date still up in the air, the nursery is also up in the air. I have some semblance of a vision on the gray and white spectrum, which should be no surprise after looking at my nesting Pinterest board. {I also pulled together this ideabook for Houzz as research for the nursery.} Since lead times are crazy for upholstered items, we ordered a glider and ottoman for the nursery...even if we don't have a place to put it today. We will, right? It shouldn't be delivered until early November, so hopefully we timed it right.
-After hemming and hawing about getting one of those big preggo pillows, the lovely folks from Bump Nest sent me a Pregnancy Pillow to try. I now can't think of a night without it. While I'll be happy to be close to {cv} again after baby, this Bump Nest beauty will be my best friend until December. The cats like it too ;)

My parting words are for those ladies who might be experiencing the sadness we did last winter {but are applicable to everyone}: take it one day at a time. As a lifelong planner, I expected things to go in the order I wanted them, but I learned very quickly that I was not in control. Learning I wasn't always in the driver's seat is one of the greatest takeaways from this journey. Sometimes, being the passenger and getting to observe life out the window for a bit isn't so bad. I'll enjoy the quiet rides for a few more months before baby {v} arrives. All of my love to each of you! xoxo {av}

P.S. Thanks for bearing with me in this post--and for sticking by me even if I post less frequently. If you want to be notified when I do post, click here. {You'll get my posts right in your inbox!}

10 comments:

  1. I love all your pregnancy updates, so happy for your and your husband! Also, this post totally freaked me out a little bit because my due date is Dec. 4th...which means that I have less than 100 days until our baby is due which is CRAZY to me! As excited as I am to meet our baby, I'm also feeling that "nesting" urge that everyone talks about and I'm going crazy wanting to get things done on our house and so I feel like I'm in now rush for baby to arrive...yet ;)

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  2. Best onesie ever. Love these little updates... and so, so excited for you! * insert double pink heart emoji *

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  3. Love you lady; you're so beautiful (as always!) and for sure are going to be a great mama :)

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  4. had to comment on this -- again, i'm so very happy for you both -- and am in utter admiration at your calm! you've become a wise, all-knowing mother already! :) i will absolutely be following along, with whatever it is in your heart to share!

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  5. enjoy every minute of it ali!! i am so excited for you and your growing family. AND i cant wait for you to share your top registry picks -- so i can pin it for the future ;) xo jillian - cornflake dreams

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  6. Once you see that sweet baby's face in December you'll know everything you went through happened for a reason. I had a miscarriage before getting pregnant with each of my children and it's not until they are born that you can feel a sense of peace with what happened. That you wouldn't be holding that sweet soul if not for what happened. I shy away from going to this topic on my blog too b/c it's so personal and emotional but I just wanted to comment here because I'm so happy for you and wish you the best!

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  7. I've loved reading about your life - I'm so excited you and your hubby. My prayers are with you and so is my admiration. Thank you for being honest with your readers. Yay baby time!

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